I have a heavy heart for women (and those who identify as such) on Planet Earth right now. It’s a time for us to stick together and rise up. I want to ask this question – what are we allowing? I believe what we allow, only grows. How can we speak louder, say no. Enough is enough.
I was sexually harassed by a male student recently (vomit) and the thing that still haunts me isn’t just what he said, but rather, why I let it happen. I could monologue about the conditioning that has led us women to be so damn nice. All the time. I could talk about how I didn’t really feel safe enough to kick him out of class and say – EWW.
I believe there are good men in this world, most of them. I believe in love, and I believe in the human need to connect with others, daily. So how can we hold space for all of that, expecting the good in everyone, and then still defend and honor our own boundaries when we are treated like objects.
I have a request: say something. Practice everywhere you can. Smaller moments are easier than the big scary ones. It’s easy to brush things off, “he was just joking”, bla bla. But if it made you uncomfortable, then say something.If you don’t, you are saying that saving their potential discomfort from being clearly communicated with about their actions is MORE important than your voice. It’s not okay that you are the one to sit and internalize and hold on to what has passed. Not fair.
The Stanford rape case has really shaken me. As a sexual assault survivor myself, I have a heavy heart for the victim and all that she has gone through to be heard. It’s fucked up, guys. Without going into great detail about this particular case, I want to ask: what’s it going to take? Not for “the world” as a conceptual entity, but as YOU and ME. What micro-aggressions can we stand up against? It is our job to teach those around us how we want to be treated. It is okay to say, “Do not talk to me like that”. It is okay to not smile back. It is okay to ask to be treated with respect.
If not now, when?